Spell Check Over-ride

A was perusing Paul's blog profile the other day. (OK- that even sounds weird to me) The truth is, I have become interested in the movies and books that friends of mine enjoy. Anyway, in looking at Paul's favorite books I ran across an intriguing title: "The Price of Tides". Hmmmm. I immediately wrote Paul a note asking exactly how much Tide cost these days. After all, I may be the next contestant on the Price is Right. What fascinates me is that Paul is just the kind of guy to deliberately misspell a word in a title for effect. In fact, Charlotte pointed out that there were several other bloggers who listed the "Price of Tides" as a personal favorite. Interesting.

It occurs to me, that whether deliberate or by accident, the devices that we employ to make us appear smarter are not without their limitations. If I were writing my friend the following sentences, all would check out as correct:

"Let's attend the meet together"

"Let's tend the meat together"

One is apparently an invitation to the track, while the other is clearly an excuse to burn meat over an open flame while consuming cold beer. Both sound like fun no matter how they are spelled.

What is your misspelling story?

Brief Glimpses

For you parents of daughters, see if you have experienced anything like this. My 11 year old, Meredith, walked into the room last night and looked like a young lady. It was not her clothing or hair or anything on the surface. Rather it was a dignified poise that gave her a certain air of maturity. And in my mind, for a moment, she was all grown up. Then she turn around, bumped into the door jam and fell on the floor.

We laughed together, and my brief premonition was gone. And thank God. I'm not ready for her to grow up, just yet.

Letters From Dad

I recently joined a project team. No, not at the office, working on some meaningless plan to reduce interoffice mail. Or to create an award system for employees who keep their desk in order and monitors clean. This is actually a project team through my church, with the intention of building a written legacy for my family.

Letters From Dad is a movement that was started in Texas several years back by Greg Vaughn. He poses the question to men everywhere, "If you died today, what could your children hold in their hands that would let them know that they were the treasure of your heart?" Wow, a powerful and slightly morose question. However, think about it. What do you have, which is tangible and lasting, that tells you how your father feels about you and what was/is most important in his life? His expectations, his dreams, his faith. My father is still with us but even so, if you are like me, I have memories of distant conversations and nothing more. That's the power of letters from Dad.

I have been given four assignments:

1. Write a letter to my wife (I just completed this and it was a Valentines hit, I tell you)
2. Write a letter to each of my children
3. Write a letter to my parents
4. Write a "legacy" letter, only to be opened upon my death

Anyway, I'll keep you posted on my progress. With my first assignment completed, I'm now focusing my efforts on the letters to each of the girls. The point is not to stop with the letters above, but to keep it going for a lifetime. As a man, I find it frightening to completely lay myself out there in a letter, but if the results are anything like Leslie's response last week, then I'll continue to do just that.

Children Succeed Despite Us

I am convinced that despite my best effort to be a misguided parent, my children will succeed. As for a recent example, Jenna was given an assignment to create a solar system which was to be 3-dimensional and show movement of the planets. Now, I suppose that's a great project for a 9 year old. I, however, didn't have to build a solar system until I was in 7th grade. And even then, my project amounted to nothing more than a shoebox with some rubber balls in it. To top it off, that year George Nicholson created the coolest science project ever! A guide to "Edible Plants of SC". George would go on to take top honors for that project and live off the land for the remainder of middle school! So I suppose in a way, Jenna's project was my chance to make things right with the universe and to redeem myself for creating such a cut-rate project.

So, as all parents sometimes do, I went into take charge mode. I strongly suggested several ways that we could get things started. All of my ideas centered around a complex system of pulleys, strings and paint. Sort of a big mobile with planets and moons. To keep this story reasonably short, suffice it to say that my youngest daughter had her own ideas. It didn't involve paint (she preferred paper mache), it didn't involve string (she preferred wires), and it didn't involve a mobile (she preferred a stand). Upon the insistance of my very wise wife, I finally listened to Jenna and we followed her plan. And if the truth be known, her idea was absolutely the best. The paper mached balls looked like asteroid pummeled planets and the stand and wires displayed their position wonderfully. She could even rotate the planets with her little finger while it was on the display stand.

And so, I stand humbled and quite pleased with the whole affair. For despite my own ideas regarding this assignment, Jenna's were better. Not too unlike the "Edible Plants" project of so long ago.

The "Your name" is Challenge

OK. I've been tagged to participate in a challenge. The game is simple: Do an internet search on my name, including the word "is". (ie: "Alan is") Then report a few of the captions that come up, and include a picture from the search. So here is the nonsense that I got back from this effort. Mmmmmm, Frankfurters...

• Alan is Ai's pattern-matching chatbot, presented here to demonstrate the limitations of current conversational technology.



• Alan is a fictional character on the ABC Network television series Boston Legal, played by James Spader.



• Alan is the Felix Frankfurter Professor at Harvard Law School.

I'd especially like to see Jay Kirk and Todd Vick do this one.

What's in a name?

As someone who goes by my middle name, I am very aware of the difficulties that can arise because of a name. For example, I have a friend named Gregory Lloyd. As you can guess, often his name is inverted to Lloyd Gregory, which I suppose would be fine. However, the name Lloyd is up there on the popularity scale of, say, Larry. Or perhaps, Rupert.

Whatever your personal preference, names often add complexity to our professional lives. Nobody can find Richard A. Green in a phonemail system when they only knew you as the blonde guy named Alan. So, a quick switch of the name, Alan.R.Green, and well- there you go. Now I have ensured that anyone who actually knows my real name (in the correct order) will never find me. What's a feller to do?

I suppose I can just be glad my name isn't Lloyd. (...my apologies to my old friend Rev. Brewer. You'll always be the best of the Lloyds, to me)

Friendy Reminder

I truly believe that one of the secrets to a fulfilling life are deep, long-lasting friendships. One of the beautiful parts of true friendship is the ability to relate on a deeper level than casual aquantance will allow. The best friendships are cultivated and enriched through time and effort. Everyone knows that true friends are able to occassionally use the phrase, "Do you remember when...". This type of mutual memory has more to do with effort by both parties than with the fact that someone is simply called a pal.

How many of us have had friendships that we felt were "one sided". Before you point a finger, remember that we've all fallen short in the "I'm there for you, man" category. Or, have you ever not been "accepting applications" for new friends. This sort of friendship hiring freeze does nothing to enrich your life and likely takes you a few steps backwards. The sad truth is, it's hard to be a good friend and much easier to not be one at all.

Praise God for my good friends. He has never failed to put the right people in my life at just the precise time. That is, when I have allowed it. Perhaps it's time to pick up the phone, reach out and be just the friend that someone out there needs.

Then again, tonight, there is that special episode of Dirty Jobs I've been waiting to see. Well, I suppose I can always just review the resumes tomorrow.

Ice Cream in January

As you may be aware, North Carolina has experienced some unseasonably warm weather this year. The record draught aside, it has provided a few days of "Spring" temperatures in a usually steamy breath, red-nosed winter and I have rather enjoyed it.


Last night, Leslie and I decided that we needed some groceries, so why not visit Trader Joe's on a Friday night. Apparently our respective social calendars ain't what they used to be. As one might imagine, my two girls weren't exactly thrilled with the idea. After all, a very special episode of Hannah Montana would be airing with a possible visit from the Jonus Brothers. (Note: If you have no idea who these people are, I would be willing to bet that you also have no idea what a Webkinz is. It's OK, I was once like you)

To skip to the chase, the girls behaved splendidly in the grocery store, enjoying free samples of cheese and deserts. The fare was not quite as lavish as a BJ's or Sam's, but you know the drill: Lady in paper hat and plastic gloves fills small cups with goodies and then gets bent out of shape that children would want to eat the stuff. Anyway, all of this only whet our appetite for some real dessert and Goodberry's, across the street, was calling. We promptly obeyed the call, sending our record of sticking to South beach for 2 whole weeks to a bitter end. Man cannot live by broccoli alone, I say.

The funny thing is, this seemingly boring Friday evening at the grocery store and then for ice-cream was more enjoyable to me than the countless times in my life when a Friday night was filled with the energy and expectation of my youth. (OK, I'm almost forty and not that old) The only difference on this Friday night, was that I was witnessing energy and expectation in my 9 and 10 year old daughters... and I enjoyed it beyond belief. In taking a few moments, last night to give the girls and my wife my full attention and engagement even in the midst of a seemingly dull night, I participated in an exercise that renewed my spirit and brought me great joy. And perhaps that is my lesson for the day. That is, a little grocery grazing and winter ice-cream with the family can, if you let it, be whole bunch of fun. And my Hot Fudge Sunday on a semi-warm January night was pretty darn good, too.

"Stringbean"Wilson Needs Your Help

Elijah "Stringbean" Wilson has been doing what he does best for over 70 years. Creating music and writing lyrics that reflect his personality and experience. Most of his songs tell stories as what can only be categorized as "the blues".

Alas, Stringbean needs your help. He has begun what could be his greatest musical achievement, but has fallen short in the lyrics department. Only you can remove his long-standing mental block. Here's the first few lines of his masterpiece. Any help with additional lyrics and concepts will surely place your name somewhere in the annals of history and possibly Stringbean's next song.

"Hungry Man" Music by Stringbean Wilson, Lyrics by Stringbean and ??? (Moderate Blues)

You're like Peanut Butter Baby- On the lips of a starvin' man

You're like Peanut Butter Mama- On the lips of a starvin' man

I'll spread you on some whitebread

with a big ol' glop o' jam

Refrain:

Now I like oyster crackers, or cheezewiz in a can

But step inside my pantry, in a Jif your Peter Pan

You're like Peanut butter, baby

smooth and creamy, golden tan

Just one more heaping spoonful

Come and feed this hungry man...

Unfortunately, here's where Stringbean's creative genius ends. Can you help Mr. Wilson out with some other verses that deal with feeding a "Hungry Man"? If you accept the challenge, please place your post here...

Another NonGoogleable

If I were to judge my level of importance in this world by hits on a search engine, I'm sad to say that all would be lost. I am just not out there on the web and quite obviously, up to now, one of several things has failed to occur:

1) I've not experienced any success worth posting

2) I have had no great scandals in my life worth posting

3) I've never really known anyone with the ability/willingness to write something about me on the internet

4) As in this blog, my full name has never been used

There is one other possibility, and that is I am actually on the net but so far down the queue that no rational person with any life responsibilities would ever actually find me. OK, to me conducting a search on myself felt a bit strange. First of all, I realize what a complete group of flakes actually are going through life with my name. It's a bit maddening to think that someone could potentially get me mixed up with Alan *** with the mullet and mop, or the Alan **** with all the cats. I like cats (and mullets and mops for that matter), but that's not what I want you, dear internet searcher, to associate with the center of my life.

And so, to date, I remain obscure and, well, missing from the internet. Another nonGoogleable. But I guess in order of things important to me... that's just fine.

Do you have an interesting story about your search for internet identity? I'd love to here about it!