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Thursday, March 13, 2008

I Gotcha Where I Wantcha...

I remember hearing an interesting little story about two young boys and a haunted house when I was a child . I had the chance to tell this story to a bunch of little girls during one of my daughter's recent sleepovers. You may recall the same story that goes something like this...

It was a dark and stormy night when little George decided to make a name for himself. He bet his best friend Jay that he could enter the old Vick house and return unharmed. Jay pleaded with his friend not to go, for years before a young boy named Rick had entered the abandoned house and never been heard from again.

"I'm not afraid of any old house", said little George. And if the truth be known, he wasn't. That is until he got to the rusty front gate of the house. The house, dead and cold, sat silently on the hill. Its broken out window panes stared at George, just as a hungry man stares as a Vienna sausage. The large front door waiting to swallow him whole.

George stood there alone, hoping to be called home by his mother. Or even asked to stop playing around by Jay. But Jay was the truest of pansies and had stopped short about a block back.

"Just as well", George muttered, his hand on the gate, "I'm going in..."

That's when he heard it. A low mutter coming from the upstairs window- the eye that had peered into his soul moments ago.

"Gotcha where I wantcha. Now I'm gonna eatcha."

Yada, yada, yada, the story goes on... for reasons unknown, George enters the house... hears the phrase several more times until discovering the young boy missing all those years ago, sitting in a closet with a green booger on his finger- "Gotcha where I wantcha. Now I'm gonna eatcha."

Back in the day, circa 1977, this was a real killer of a story. It ranked up there with that famous limerick "Me Chinese, me play joke..." or "King Kong played Ping Pong...". Anyway, somewhere through time the effect of that joke was lost. I, however, still remember them all with great affection. Perhaps you remember some of your childhood jokes. Can anyone out there tell me "Why Peter Pan can fly?"


Rick said...

That's a scary story. Had to go change pants. Brought back repressed memories. Thanks alot.

George said...

Great story! I don't have the slightest recollection of that terrifying tale. (Although the "Yada, yada, yada" part rings a bell.)

Why can Peter Pan Fly? Didn't it have something to do with a tragic accident involving his peter and frying pan?

George said...

Here's a few adolescent punchlines that I can't shake:


"Nin colored skipples"

Pickled Monkey Weiners!

"Are you a boy or a girl?" - Twee

"Toilet Paper!"

"George Bradley has hemoroids" (sung to the tune of "A mighty river.)

"Nipp-o-lean..." (sung to the tune of some French song, but secretly intended to alert one's comrade to the effect of cold weather upon a member of the fairer gender's anotomy. To the casual by-stander, it would only appear that one broke into spontaneous French homework, but to those on the inside, aware of this secret language, it meant something very different... and very good.)

Steve said...

Isn't it, "You'd fly too if someone hit your peter with a pan?" I'd forgotten the Chinese joke/coke one. I'll have to bring my kids in on that one. Classic.

Rick said...

"Wrecked 'em? Durn near killed him!"

Martha said...

I always heard the story that the voice came from a monkey in the closet sitting with a bananna ready to eat it. Never heard the booger version! However, after reading the comments I got a good laugh out of the Peter Pan flying explanation!!!

Todd said...

The old Vick house is still a scary place.