Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs...

...is well known in Psychological circles. Since I neither run in these circles nor particularly care for those that do, I know very little of this theory. Except to say that it makes some sense to me. The proposal is basically this:

• You have a select grouping of basic needs in life, represented by the lower part of the pyramid. Things like, eating, breathing, resting, using the john, etc.


• You can rise above your basic needs in life and enter several tiers of elevated needs. At the top of the pyramid you will notice some pretty weighty needs like morality, creativity and problem solving- all of which can be accomplished while on the john. But I digress...

All of this is really a set up for my basic theory of needs. We'll call it "Green's Hierarchy of Needs and Wants", which has a nice ring to it. My theory is simply this:

• We all have basic needs in life, some of which are Priority Needs (PN) and others which are non-Priority Needs (NPN). Examples: Food is a PN, while sexuality is a NPN. Some would argue that point, I am sure.


• Then there are Wants, some of which are Priority Wants (PW) and some which are simply Non-priority Wants (NPW). Examples: Money could be considered a PW, while a plate full of jello-shooters could be a NPW.

So here's the deal. This is a list of my favorite Non-priority Wants. Things that I want, but really don't need at all:

1. A chain saw- I have little need for this, but it would look really cool in my garage.
2. Variety of bath salts- I would probably put these in my guest bath, but then again there is only a shower in there.
3. A Mister P-Nut commemorative bank- Saw one of these at an antique store once and I almost bought it. I don't really know why.
4. Rock Climbing Gear- I don't do it, but one day I might.
5. A fez
6. Leather driving gloves
7. New golf clubs- Tried this once and it didn't improve my game at all.
8. Set of 100 yard flags- I actually did buy these the other day, just in case I have to show where some underground wiring is or lay out a patio.
9. Best of SNL DVD- That would be cool to have.
10. Set of large leather books for my bookcase- content unimportant.
11. A coffee mug with "The Best Dad Ever" printed on it
12. "I'm with Stupid" T-shirt
13. A ship bell
14. A miniature horse named "Turd Ferguson".
15. An abacus
16. Set of bagpipes- I would enjoy the sound of these for about 12 minutes.

What would you put into this category?